The bout was gone, but summary was clear – Everything that I know till date is merely an inconsequential hoax. A sham or a sheer useless object when it comes to solving the most fundamental mystery – of life and death. Everything around that I knew so far seemed like mere illusions of castles in empty air – having no foundation, no base whatsoever. They offer you everything except what you actually want.
They all are so temporary and want you to keep busy for today alone. The religions of the worlds would say, “Just follow what our holy books or gurus or prophets say, and leave the worry of after-death era to us. We will take care of that. You merely concentrate on what you need to do today.”
The commercial mafia would say, “Hey, have this product or that service. Enjoy the present. Nothing else needs to be even thought of.”
The political mafia would say, “Just vote for us, we will give you food, water, reservation, facilities etc. We will make your life a heaven.”
The social-service mafia would say, ” Give us donation, Help this poor, Protest this act of government, Join our seminar, Do good for society the way we say, and that will give you inner happiness.”
In the end, all turn out to be sheer marketers trying to sell the offerings that they have and get what they perceive to be valuable in return. But their domain of offering and receiving is only limited to next few years that you will exist on this planet earth. The religion mafia will try to address the after-life problem though. But only through hollow promise and fraudulent logic – “Leave logic aside in domain of religion. Just believe what we say or be cursed!”
Thus, the bouts will continue to come and the only solution seems to be fooled by any of the mafia and live like an ostrich that digs its head into the ground to escape the coming danger. It’s a different matter that even these mafias are fooling themselves like the ostrich.
I tried to take my fear heads-on. But my dismal failures ensured that the ostrich would soon return. But then these bouts forced my head out of the ground and brought me face to face with that which just cannot be avoided in any circumstance.
My study of religions and philosophy only made matters difficult for me. Modern science had the advantage of things being presented with plenty of evidences and analysis. But this was a different domain all together. Here you need to simply believe certain words without any arguments. Typically all religious books had same pattern – lots of stories, lots of description of sins and righteousness, lots of description of super powers of their guru or prophet, lots of description of afterlife advantages and disadvantages of following or not following their cult and then same usual stuff of keeping logic aside in matters of faith. There were variations though but the fundamental question was very tactfully sidelined in every one of them. They would talk great things and tactfully mix their own agenda somewhere in between without giving any reason or logic whatsoever.